Country Cooking form South Austin: Baked Ziti (Farce Ziti Double) OR Alone in the Kitchen with String Cheese

Ingredients:
What ever is in your refrigerator or pantry four days before Christmas
An itunes library full of the Beatles, Jimi Hendrix, and Lady Gaga's new album

Step 1 -Decide that going to the store to obtain enough materials to cook a meal would be tantamount with giving up on all of your convictions as you are unemployed and not up for leaving the house more than once in any day.

Step 2- Call your boyfriend's stepmother to ask what she puts in her baked ziti instead of ricotta. Discuss how much not having a job sucks, but how the economy is bound to turn up and you will both be gainfully employed within a matter of weeks.*

Step 3- Turn up volume on computer so that it can be heard in kitchen, but be sure to run back any time Lady Gaga comes on. Disregard feelings of neighbors about having to hear your music warbled through the wall.

Step 4- Boil your pasta. Baked ziti usually contains something small and tubular, but you have the choice between little shells, bowties, linguine that is infested with pantry bugs, or spaghetti. You choose little shells. Test occasionally--burn mouth each time.

Step 5- While pasta is boiling unwrap and slice lengthwise your string cheese snacks. While slicing prepare mentally for boyfriend's disgust, amusement, or amazement that you have used string cheese thusly.

Step 6- Drain pasta and add the rest of your tub of cream cheese even though boyfriend's stepmother said sour cream.

Step 7- Add two handfuls of whatever else you have in the fridge.

Step 8- Consider stopping here and having mac and cheese for dinner.

Step 9- Eat at least five spoonfuls of this just to make sure--different spoon each time.

Step 10- Remember that boyfriend is no fan of mac and cheese and add bottle of Ragu.

Step 11- Pour into Santa Claus baking dish that you got for free when you bought boyfriend some Dolche and Gabbana cologne four years ago.

Step 12- Look up on recipezaar.com how long people cook baked ziti.

Step 13- Skip the Lady Gaga song that's just come on your computer.

*neither of you believes this